Communication

We hear all the time that we aren't supposed to judge others. In actuality, judging others is part of life. It is something that you won't escape no matter how many times you vow you'll never do it. You'll do it. In fact, even saying "Don't judge me!" is a judgment on the other person. You are judging them on their judgment of you. What we really need is to learn to judge others in the right way. For those of you Christians out there who are thinking about the Bible admonitions, you need to take another look at them. They don't tell you to NOT judge, but rather to be careful of the judgment...

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We think that our actions define us more than our words. But the reality is exactly the opposite. Our actions are important, but our actions are psychologically used to verify the truth of our words and not the other way around. Be careful what you say. This article attempts to prove that your words define you more than your actions. Take a parent who says, "Do what I say and not what I do." A child looks at the action, realizes that the words are empty and vain, and doesn't listen to what you say. Interestingly, the child will hold the words against you more than the action. If a smoker tells...

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Every being on the planet communicates in some fashion. And the more complex the form of communication is, the more complex the relationships are. You could argue that the more complex the relationship is then the more complex communication is. However, it is the depth of our speech that enables the relationship to exist to begin with. How many strangers have become your friends by just sitting next to them and either never uttering a word? Human speech is the most complicated form of communication in the world. We have so many ways to express ideas, feelings, dreams, suggestions, thoughts,...

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There are so many things that could go on a list of important skills to develop when building or establishing a relationship. I've been counseling for over ten years, and all of the supposed words of wisdom that I've uttered since that day pale in comparison to the good that this single skill has accomplished in my counseling and personal relationships. What is the most important social skill? Here it is: the art of listening. There have been innumerable times, it seems, that people have stepped into my office with a problem that they don't know how to handle. They sit down with a defeated...

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Expressing yourself is not always easy. There can be many things that go wrong when you try to express yourself. Misunderstandings are perhaps the most destructive communication mishaps in relationships. So how do you solve it? No method is perfect, especially when you are dealing with someone else's perceptions, feelings, and desires. But using a Question Tree is a great way to overcome many of these problems. WHAT IS A QUESTION TREE A Question Tree is expression only through questions. Instead of telling someone how you feel directly, you ask controlled and well thought out questions...

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There are several things that need to be addressed before we can adequately answer the question of "Should I express my emotions?" First, you need to realize that your emotions can be deceptive. What you feel isn't necessarily the truth. People often feel that someone else dislikes them when that is the furthest thing from the other person's mind. Sometimes you feel lonely even when people are trying to reach out to you. Often a wife will feel unloved when her husband doesn't display enough affection, but he still loves her. Your emotions need to be dealt with, but you shouldn't trust them...

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One of the hardest things to do when you're communicating with someone is expressing yourself. How many times have you said something that just didn't come out the way you wanted it to? How many times have we said something that we really didn't mean, but we were too frustrated to stop it from being said? What's more, some people have a fear of expressing themselves at all. They're afraid to say something that might cost them a friendship. Or they bottle everything up tight and seize up at the mere thought of sharing their true emotions. This can be a constant struggle for people. However,...

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COULD SPEECH HAVE EVOLVED? Interesting studies suggest that speech is not innate or intrinsic to humans. Efforts to teach speech to animals have only seen simplistic results, and the ability in one animal to say a few words is not passed on to the offspring. Evidence exists that suggests that speech is solely a learned behavior. Examples of a child growing up in an environment without speech show that he will naturally develop other methods of communication, not that of complicated speech. Thus, if two such people had children, their offspring would not develop speech either. It is not innate,...

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Sometimes your bluntness just gets you into more trouble. Sometimes, your tactfulness doesn't seem to convey the magnitude of the situation or of your feelings. So when should you do either? This article contains guiding, helpful principles for both. PRINCIPLES FOR TACTFULNESS Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Ecclesiastes 10:12 The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself. There are several principles that ought to be followed in regards to knowing when a tactful or diplomatic response is better...

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Writing can be an incredible outlet to expressing your emotions, feelings, and desires without necessarily causing an argument, feeling frustrated, or having your thoughts come out wrong. This article contains some tips on how to express yourself in writing. WHEN TO WRITE A LETTER There are many times when a letter to someone will do more good than just saying the very first thing that crosses your mind. Our mouth is like unfiltered TV. Without the right filters anything, good or bad, gets spouted out. This leads to passionate arguments without any substance, anger, bitterness, and resentment. No...

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