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STEP #1 – CONFESSION (OR EXPOSURE OF THE WOUND)

I talk about this at length in other places. But no healing of emotional injuries can take place without it. The first step to any emotional healing is revealing of the wound itself. Much like a child who scrapes his arm and hides it with his hand and bringing the wound as close to the body as possible, so do we have a tendency to do the same thing.

Our instincts are to hide the pain as deeply as possible. We ignore what happened, we pretend it never happened, and we try to bury it under a flurry of activity and self deception.

James 5:16 - Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

1 John 1:9 -If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Proverbs 16:6 – By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil.

Truth is the exposure of what is hidden. Deception is the attempt to hide something, to bury it, and to not let anyone see it. However, truth is the revealing of what is hidden. Call it confession, exposure, or the truth, it is all the same thing.

Until an emotional wound is brought out into the open, it will not heal. The guilt (infection, if you will) can never be purged until it is. Guilt is the product of either having an emotional wound inflicted on you or by inflicting the emotional wound on someone else. In both cases, criminal or victim, there is emotional trauma that leaves a person spoiled and soiled.

The wound must first be exposed in order to begin the healing process. A mother wants to see the wound first to determine what must be done to cleanse it and ultimately heal it. Any wound with infection in it will never heal. It will only get worse.

Find someone that you trust to tell what happened to you or even what you did. Until you do, you cannot begin to heal.

STEP #2 – MERCY AND FORGIVENESS (CALLING THE DOCTOR)

Proverbs 16:6 – By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil.

Mercy is an essential ingredient to emotional healing. Guilt leaves you with the sense and thinking that either you deserve what you got, that no one, including God cares, that you are worthless, or that you can never regain your integrity, purity, dignity, or wholeness. Mercy and forgiveness allow you to regain that once again.

1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Notice that immediately after the confession comes the forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act of mercy. It is the letting go of the wrong. Mercy says I will not inflict upon you what you deserve or you think you deserve. It is knowing that God cares. It is knowing that you have succor-a place of refuge.

People often come to my office and say, “I’ve never told this to anyone, and when I tell you, you’ll probably kick me out of the Church.” It is amazing how often I hear that from people. Yet we have yet to kick anyone out of the Church! Still, their guilt has caused them to feel that they have no right to be part of something as loving as our Church.

But when they discover that we are more interested in helping them then condemning them, they discover firsthand how cleansing and refreshing mercy can be.

Honest truth is we all deserve God’s wrath, His judgment, and His condemnation. His mercy however, is a demonstration of His deep love for us. But that mercy must be experienced! It must be felt, so to speak, for it to have an effect!

Mercy and forgiveness is available to everyone. It is available to you! Guilt is the result of these hidden emotional injuries, either those inflicted on you, or those you inflicted on others. These feelings of guilt soil us and inflict tremendous feelings of isolation. Experiencing first hand, however, the forgiveness and mercy of God (and even of others) is highly medicinal!

If you are the victim, you need to learn to forgive the one who wronged you. Getting it out, talking with someone else about what happened to you, will give you the capacity and strength to put it behind you. Focusing on God and His love, mercy, and grace will allow you to finally heal from what was done to you.

It really works. Not immediately, not instantly, but you’ll finally begin to heal for the first time. Giving yourself into someone else’s care is an essential part of the healing process.

James 5:16 – Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

STEP #3 – CLEANSING (CLEANING OUT THE INFECTION)

From the verses we have already seen, the cleansing away of guilt does take time. But the cleansing is always done by others-by Jesus Christ.

1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

You have most likely lived with guilt for a long time. That amount of infection must be drawn out. I’ve witnessed people who claim, “I forgive them for what they did to me.” But they have not. They are still hurt, still bleeding. The cleansing process isn’t so quick or so absolute. That guilt and pain is drawn out over time.

To be frank with you, forgiving someone or even forgiving yourself, is never a quick thing. It takes time to truly let it go. A good mother will look at a wound every day to make sure the infection is coming out and apply whatever medicines necessary to draw out the remaining infection.

Here is what I suggest:

1. Every day bring to God what was done to you. Tell Him about it. You may even need to have a partner to do this with. Perhaps you can write it on a piece of paper, show it to God and then destroy it.

2. Every day, therefore, you’ll be able to let a little bit more go. Either in forgiving what was done to you, or forgiving yourself for what you did. All the guilt, bitterness, anger, resentment, and self-loathing will begin to be leeched out of your heart.

3. Every day indulge in God’s mercy, love, and forgiveness. This will give you more assurance and confidence for the next day.

4. Eventually, your wound will be healed and you’ll have completely let it go. There may be a scar, but it is healed.

I’m not sure that it is within our capacity to forgive completely outright and without reservation. Only God is capable of that. But then God has no guilt. We do. That infection must be drawn out and gotten rid of.

Matthew 18:21-22 – Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

The concept here is deeper than what we often realize. This is not just about a brother that repeatedly does you wrong. It is also about how often you relive the wrong in your heart.

Follow the above procedure until you can relive the wrong and it no longer causes you any pain. Only then will it be healed.

It may be that you have to forgive every day, for a long time until it is gone. But this is the cleansing process. And it really does work. I have several things in my own life that caused me pain. I can now think upon them without pain. The wounds are healed.

So can yours.